Dear Diary 🌝🤬!@#!💣🤠💩

July 1 Moved into our new home in Michigan. It's so beautiful here. The hills around us look majestic. I can hardly wait to see them snow covered. I am going to love it here.

Oct 14 Michigan is definitely the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have all turned the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride in the TR7 up to Traverse City and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.

Nov 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

Dec 7 It snowed last night! Woke up to find everything blanked white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snow plow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love it here.

Dec 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

Dec 19 More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snow plow.

Dec 22 More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters all over my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole!

Dec 25 Merry fucking Christmas! More friggen snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives the snow plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice.

Dec 27 More white shit last night. Been inside for 3 days except for shoveling out the driveway after the snow plow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10” of the shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10” is?

Dec 28 The fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34” of that white shit this time. At this rate, it won’t melt till summertime. The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already I broke my last one over his head.

Jan 4 Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food. On the way back a damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from that fucking salt they put all over the road.

May 10 Moved back to Florida. I can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in that god-forsaken state of Michigan.